Al Gore has captured the first ever Nobel Jackass prize. Instead of a large cash award, this particular award carries with it an even greater honour: Gore will receive a sack full of his weight in horse manure. Bill Clinton, reached for comment on his “Everyone Has AIDS” tour, said “That would be one big pile of crap”.
Wait, I read the story incorrectly. It seems Gore has won the coveted “peace prize”. A member of the committee explained:
We gave him the peace prize because he quit in 2000. Had he won the presidency, his administration would no doubt have launched post-9/11 attacks on half the nations in Africa, Burma, as well as most of the Middle-East, resulting in millions of deaths. We think it’s great that he had the humility not to inflict himself on the world.
Next week: George W. Bush captures the Nobel prize for Physics, after it is discovered he has displayed a form of galactic wrongheadedness never before encountered.
